When You Say You Love Me, Do You Mean It?
by MissMarrrie
Summary: When Regina has a panic attack at the town line and her true colors are revealed, will Emma go from her worst enemy to her only hope? *Rated M for future chapters.*
1. Chapter 1

Regina sat in her car in front of the town line; tears rolling freely down her face; her breathing unsteady. She laid her head back in her seat and slips out of her coat, trying to find a way to calm herself down. She wanted to stay here forever and not have to go back to the citizens of Storybrooke and tell the entire town why she ran away. Why their own Mayor can't hold a public meeting about something as stupid as fundraising without running out crying half way through. They are probably all gossiping and laughing back in the large room as she sat there helpless and alone. Gold had tried to stop her on her way out, but with a quick push to his shoulders, she left him behind. It's been so long since Regina had had a panic attack, probably even before she adopted Henry., she almost forgot what they felt like. They used to be so prevalent in her life that she sought help and medication through Whale, but as they dissipated, she no longer worried. Now realizing that this absence of care was a mistake, she was trapped in the confinement of her car, cycling between wanting to stay and wanting to leave. She can't cross that town line no matter how badly she wants to. A chance to start over would be something worth forgetting for, but it's not worth forgetting Henry. Right now he was her whole world, She could have a new identity, new friends, but no son, the only life she had. She leaned forward and rested her head on the top of her steering wheel, trying to remind herself that she was still able to move and function. Her body was hot and felt frozen even though her hands shook in her lap. Every second feels like an hour to her. She tries to take a deep breath and let the attack pass, but her light crying turns into careless sobbing. She cried for herself, for her son and for the people who know who she really is. She will never change.

"Regina…", a muffled sound is heard by the brunette. A tapping on her driver's side window causes her to look out and notice Emma standing on the outside. Her heart jumped up into her throat as she was struck by surprise. Embarrassment burnt at her cheeks as she tried to hide her face from the look that was staring back at her. She wanted to push her away; she wanted to run her over with her car. Why would she want anyone to see her in this state, completely undone and out of control? Not just anyone, but the woman who was trying to take Henry from her; the woman who was making every day of her life a living hell. Isn't this just more of a reason for her to try to take Henry from her? Regina didn't answer Emma, continuing to stare down at her steering wheel and letting the tears quietly hit the leather. She's never had anyone help her during a panic attack, she didn't even think anyone would know how to help her. Reminiscence fills her as she remembers an even earlier time that she has suffered. Her tears fell just as freely in the stables as a young girl, hiding away and petting her horse's mane as she shook and sobbed over the stress that her mother constantly caused her. She never told a soul about these moments, not even her father; as kind as he was he just wouldn't understand. She's better off alone and better off as far away from Emma as humanly possible.

"Regina I know you're still in there and I'm not leaving until I talk to you. What the hell is wrong with you, just running out like that? We had shit to talk about, I thought you would have cared more about a fundraiser that's going to benefit your kid's school!" The mayor continued to cry between tight, short breaths, still attempting to hide her face so Emma wouldn't see. Her stomach was sick and in knots and her body felt like it was on fire. Throwing all of her composure out of the window, she pressed the unlock button on the passenger side door, giving Emma the hint that she was allowed in. She didn't know what caused this changed decision, maybe she was secretly yearning inside for some company; someone to care and someone to hold on to. Even if it was the woman she hated, it was better than no one at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma quickly climbed in Regina's pristine car, looking her up and down with concerned eyes. This is the first time she's seen the mayor act in a way that wasn't cruel and heartless. She wasn't screaming at Emma. She wasn't giving orders. She wasn't telling her to stay the hell away from her and Henry, and to be honest it scared her. This version of Regina looked like was a broken woman who needed nothing more than a shoulder to cry on. Emma suddenly felt her heart soften in the strangest way. 'Probably someone who she doesn't hate', Emma thought to herself. 'She's not going to want my help, she just wants me to go away.' She stared down at her shoes for a moment and back up at Regina, contemplating on what to say or do next. Neither woman said a word as Regina sobbed, unable to keep her composure. She watched her body shake and her breathing become more and more shallow as she remembered the feeling of a full-blown panic attack all too well; Regina didn't have to tell her, she already knew. The older woman's pain was hitting Emma's heart in the deepest spot it possibly could, rattling her brain as the they sat in the car without making any eye contact or conversation at all. The blonde did the only thing she knew how to do, she placed her hand over Reginas and gave it a small squeeze to remind her that she was still there. After all, Emma was no good at talking anyways. This wasn't the woman that she wanted to punch in the face. This felt like a whole new person.

She expected Regina to pull away from her small gesture and get angry, but to her surprise she didn't. The blonde squeezed a little harder and tried to quickly come up with a solution to help calm her down.

"Regina…look at me please." The older woman continued to look down, her tears falling against the leather steering wheel. Her face told a tale of fear, pain and embarrassment. "Please…I just want to help.." She felt Regina pull her hand away quickly, no longer accepting the mutual touch of comfort.

"Help!? Emma what the hell have you ever done to help me?", she snapped. "You're only here because you're the sheriff and you want to impress everyone by doing your job. You've spent the last month doing nothing but trying to get under my fucking skin and trying to take my son away from me! My son! I took him in when you didn't want him. I raised him! He's mine, and now…here you come to take away the only thing I have left." Her face turned from anger to sadness as she turned and looked Emma in the eyes. "You are nothing but a burden. All you're doing is making my life hell and putting Henry in the middle. Is this what you wanted; to see me break down and cry? To see me panic? To feel like you have all the power? If that's what you wanted then congratulations, you've won." Emma stared at her with remorse. She never really considered Regina's feelings before. She only knew that she was arrogant and self-absorbed from the moment she met her; but maybe that's not the case.

"Yes, I know I'm a burden Regina. I know I shouldn't have come here but you know what?, it was Henry who came and found me. He brought me here. I didn't come looking for him. I wanted him to have his best chance and I see that he's been given one. But now that I'm here, how can you just expect me to walk away? Do you know how much that would disappoint him or are you too busy only thinking about yourself again? You're hurting. I can see that, but I don't want the relationship between us to be bitter. For the sake of Henry; for the sake of this town, why can't we start over? Why can't you let me help you? Please. You're only so angry because you're not thinking clearly and you're having a panic attack and-"

"I know what is going on with my own body Ms. Swan! You don't need to comment on my mental health like a know-it-all and I don't care what you say anyways, how can I get along with someone who wants to do nothing but take away my happiness? Fuck you and go to hell."

Regina opened the door and got out of the car, slamming the door and leaning against the shining hood, looking pale and unsteady on her feet. Her eyes were fixed on the town line, her surroundings dark and full of gloom as the sun began to set before her. At first she thought she should high-tail it and run, but Emma slams her door shut as well, her eyes fixed on Regina the road ahead. She's just not ready to give up on the woman who needs a second chance./div


	3. Chapter 3

Emma stood behind Regina quietly, listening to her sobbing lightly and holding her head in her hands. She should have been angry with all of the things she said. She should have punched her in the face but she couldn't bring herself to feel rage. There has never been a time where she felt so compelled to reach out to another human being, not even when she was madly in love with Neal. She stared at the older woman's silhouette against the sunset; her mind wandering as she realizes that the woman standing before her wasn't harmful, she was beautiful. Her curves, the way she looked in that blue dress, she was absolutely stunning. Her heart fluttered softly. She didn't hate Regina anymore, not at all. All this time that was spent arguing and cutting down apple trees was wasted time. This was no longer the woman who stood in her way. This was the woman that gave a good life to her son, and she should forever be grateful, not full of hate. 'What is going on with me?' She thought to herself. She shook her head as if she was trying to shake away the new feelings for Regina that were quickly erupting. She couldn't decide what these feelings meant, but it didn't matter. She just wanted to make her feel better; their time to act bitter had to be over.

Almost without catching herself, she felt her body walk towards the older woman, her hand carefully placing itself on Regina's shoulder. Regina didn't flinch or turn around; it was like she didn't even notice Emma standing in the background. Ignoring her was better than pushing her away; any subtle hint that she wanted her there was relieving. She finally turned towards Emma and she couldn't help but notice the swollen redness around her eyes. She looks like she's been crying for hours. Her makeup was starting to disappear from her face, no longer hiding all of her flaws. To Emma, this made her more beautiful than before. She was seeing this woman at her worst. That's what makes a person vulnerable, open to let anyone in and see who they are beyond their skin. It was tragic and heartwarming all the same. Her hair was no longer curled under and laying perfectly against her neck, it was disheveled and out of place. It feels like this is the first time she met her, like this is a chance to meet her again.

"Emma didn't I tell you to go?" Her tone had it's usual bite, but some of the harshness has disappeared. Maybe she was willing to let someone help her, or maybe she was just too tired from crying. She didn't push Emma's hand away this time, hopefully feeling a bite of comfort in a touch from another human being. Emma wasn't cursed; she wasn't being forced to touch her or like her. She wasn't under a spell like the others. Maybe she just cares.

"I'm not going anywhere. I can't stand to see you like this."

"Why do you care Emma? Why do you care how I am or how I feel? You barely know me. You don't know what I am or what I've done. If you did, you wouldn't be here. You would have never came here in the first place. I am a monster. I'm getting what I deserve." Her attitude did a complete flip from before. Instead of confident, she felt manic. She no longer wanted to fight for this, maybe she did deserve everything she's getting. Maybe this was a long time coming. "If you want to hurt me or fight me, now is your chance. If you've been putting up a front to try to see my weaknesses, here you go.", she cried. "Emma I just can't do this anymore." She slumped down against the front of her car, resting her head on her knees. Her behavior was no longer lady-like and proper, but closer to a person who finally figured out who they really are; someone who was in touch with their emotional side. Emma slumped down beside her, close enough to allow Regina to touch her or get comfort from her if she chose to do so.

"I care because I want to, not because I have to. I'm not playing games with you or trying to act on some sort of plan to sell you out and win whatever war you started with me. I came here because I was worried about you; I didn't expect you to get up and leave like that in the middle of a meeting. I thought you could have been sick or hurt or that something serious was wrong. No one else seemed to run after you besides me. And even if no one came looking for you, it doesn't matter because I did and I'm here for you. I want to be your friend. Please just let me start over. Please." Both women were silent for a moment, staring off into the distance. Emma looked down at the line separating the two pieces of road before them. She never really took the time to notice it before, even when she crossed just weeks ago.

"I wonder why they decided to paint a line in the middle of the road. It doesn't seem to have a purpose. It's no big deal but sometimes it's the small things that make you wonder. This town is kind of small to deal with a lot of traffic." She felt Regina tense up next to her, almost as if she was hiding a deep, dark secret. Maybe it was time she came clean to the rest of the town. Maybe she couldn't feel okay again until she came out from behind the mask she created for everyone else. But how would they take it? Would she be found dead by tomorrow, or most importantly, how quick would Emma be to take away her new proposal for friendship? She took a deep breath, knowing that this was her only chance to let her secret go in the privacy of the moment. She looked Emma in the eyes, feeling her anxiety level once again rise too high.

"Emma there is something I have to tell you. Don't be scared."


End file.
